Candidasi (pronounced Chan’-dee-da-see)

The Ashram doesn’t look like much from the road! They aren’t exactly trying to bring in tourists! I hired a driver in Ubud for $15 and asked him to choose a nice route, so he brought me over the mountains,

and past the rice paddies,

and down to the coast,

and it was so lovely. We left at 9 am and arrived at noon.

The Gedong Gandhi Ashram feels like one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. My lanai is literally right on the ocean.

At the moment, I’m the only visitor here, though I’ve heard there’s a couple from Italy next door, and about ten people living here at the Ashram. My little bungalow is precious. It even has a loft, so in a pinch it could sleep four. To the right is the ocean, and to the left is a sweet lagoon.

On the other side of the lagoon is the road, and almost every other lodging in Candidasi is right on the road, so Candidasi is not considered a highly desirable location.

The Lonely Planet Guide (that’s how I found out about it) said that there were bungalows on the ocean and you could stay for a donation. I pictured a little bed platform with a grass roof. I figured that would be nice for a night or two. When I arrived, they told me it was $20 US per night, but that includes three meals (and tea at 3:30)—of absolutely delicious vegetarian food, with occasional fish and eggs if you wish, and water. How perfect. Then Deena, a soft-spoken young Balinese woman, walked me down to the little bungalow, and I fell in love. Yes, you can go swimming right outside the bungalow!

On the back of the door is a sign:

Let Us Live Simply
So That Others May Simply Live

“We invited all our guests to take part in as much of our Ashram life as they choose, and otherwise come you to relax and enjoy our community while observasing these few rules
•    Maintain quiet during times of prayer and meditation.
•    Refrain from smoking, drinking alcohol, and mixed sex cohabitation while on the Ashram grounds.”

At the bottom it says:
Augustus 2004

If you wish, you can also join the group for activities throughout the day, very much like at Sogenji, starting at 5:00 in the morning. The only requirement is that you join the group for yoga and prayer in the morning and in the evening. Suffer! There is an internet place nearby, but it’s expensive.

I find that I am deliciously unmotivated. I will take three days of rest. I try to do that once a month, and I am very ready and this is the perfect place. Normally it is difficult for me to do nothing, but I worked hard at cultivating that ability when I lived in Big Sur.

Well, Ubud certainly wasn’t a place to do that! Nonetheless my early morning meditations on that lanai with the grasshoppers and birds were exceptional.

After lunch I chill out for hours, and then go inside to take a nap. I can hear the wind picking up. At 3:15 I get up, knowing they will be bringing tea.

Now I am wishing I didn’t stay in Ubud so long! I only have five more nights before I have to be in Denpassar for my dental appointment, and I want at least a couple days in Amed. But I had a good time in Ubud.

I arrived here at the ashram just as they were finishing their lunch, so Deena offered to serve me lunch on my lanai. Here she is.

The Balinese women carry things so gracefully on their heads. Each dish was covered with a cute little straw hat. So much food! There are greens with a great sauce, a fried egg with another great sauce, a good potato dish, sliced cucumbers, and a tangerine.

Deena keeps me company as I eat (the Balinese seem to think they should do that and I feel torn between enjoying these visits and just wanting to be alone). She tells me that she has been here for 6 years, since high school, and last year a woman came from Australia and offered to pay for her college education. But it is difficult to commute one half hour each way without a motorscooter. The founder of this Ashram, Ebu Gedong, was an Indonesian woman who died four years ago at the age of 80 (her face is on one of the four Indonesian postage stamps honoring great women). When she was alive, many many people came to the ashram. That was when there was a wide sandy beach, before all the tourists came and destroyed the coral.

When I finish lunch she leaves with the tray on her head and I lay down for a nap. When I wake up, there is a Balinese man sweeping around the house. We get to talking and I tell him that I am looking for a place to bring people for workshops. We talk about a couple places that I know about, and a locally-owned place, and he offers to take me there on his motor scooter tomorrow afternoon. His name is Ja-ti.

Then I take another nap (realizing that I am really quite exhausted; I’ve been waking up at 4 or 5 am most mornings). I awake feeling inspired to take a dip in the ocean. I stand up and I hear a voice, “There you are!” She must have seen me through the window. I grab my skirt and go to pee, feeling a bit guilty for not responding to this cheerful voice more immediately. Well! It’s a good thing I found such a nice private place to be alone!

When I open my door I see a round-faced Balinese woman standing alongside my lanai looking up at me from under the tray on her head (apparently she has come to do an offering), anointing her own forehead with water from the bowl on her tray, and fishing around in the bowl with her fat fingers for flower petals that she is pasting onto her forehead as she asks me how long I will be here and where I am from and do I like it here and her name is Maria. She is like the backwards-clown version of the graceful ladies who did the offerings in Ubud.

When she leaves I put on my bathing suit and go down the stone steps directly into the ocean. It is very shallow and the bottom is full of coral, so I go flat on my belly as soon as possible, and float out, guiding myself with my hands. It is barely deep enough to swim. Three little girls swim up to say hello. I swim out deeper but it isn’t much deeper, and I swim back and forth a few times, watching the beautiful patterns in the sky. I’m very happy here.

Then I go back and wash off the saltwater. When I’m dressed I hear a voice out front and I walk outside and Na-Om introduces himself, telling me he used to live here, but now he lives about 1 kilometer away, but he comes every day to help out. His real job is a fisherman, and he goes out in his little boat every morning at 3 am with all the other fishing boats, and comes back at 7, and sometimes he takes tourists with him for very cheap, and almost every day the dolphins come out, sometimes 200 of them. He likes to watch them jump, but sometimes they make him angry because they rip apart his fishing net trying to get his fish, He just charges $8—much less than the commercial places.

I heard there were lots of dolphins here, but I hate going out in a big tourist boat, so I wasn’t going to go at all. This sounds perfect, so I agree to join him on Friday morning (because Thursday is a big festival so everyone will be going to the temple) and he says that on the way back from fishing he will take me to a good place where I can snorkel. By now I’ve decided that I will go to Amed on Friday, after I come back from fishing. That will give me two nights in Amed before I go to Denpassar.

Just as he leaves, another fellow comes up and says it’s time for dinner. After dinner I go back to my lanai and though we are supposed to go back and pray in half an hour, there is a wonderful thunder-rain (not a storm, just a gentle rain with lots of gentle thunder and a little lightning), which I record, and I use the rain as an excuse to stay on my lanai and just relax and enjoy this time in QUIET and SOLITUDE!

People seem to feel sorry for me, traveling alone. But I actually spend very little time alone. Half of me is really a loner, and sometimes it gets a bit frustrated with the other half which is so darn friendly.

FULL MOON IN BALI

The full moon and the “dark moon” are two important days in Bali. Everyone goes to the Temple.

Tonight I see just one star. I’ve always wished on stars, but what is there to wish for?

Here it is: I wish that I will continue to have clarity in making decisions about my life, one step at a time.

I love it here, and I feel as if I will come back to Ashram Gandhi. But I have no concern about it; the world feels full of special places. So if I can just have clarity in each decision . . . no anxiety, no desires, no disappointments.